Before Lyrics

Originally written on June 18, 2023. This was part of my rebirth/reconnection to writing that was not songwriting. I was surprised that even without a melody present, no chorus, or no hook, that the words still came.

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Before songwriting came poems, before poems came paragraphs, before paragraphs came sentences and so on. There was a time when poems and paragraphs were the best ways to express myself. I got really good at making my feelings rhyme, my emotions melodies, my thoughts choruses, and my pain hooks. Writing lyrics became my therapy and I also loved that not only did they sound good, they were able to be felt because they are real. My insecurities and setbacks started to sound pretty on beats. My self-doubt floated on soothing instrumentals. This form of therapy made my struggles sound like symphonies

But I didn’t account for the moments when the music stops, the pitch is off-key, and I’m a measure behind. I forgot that my feelings don’t abide by the rules of songwriting. They won’t always be pretty like the violins I like to hear. Chord progressions can’t always pull the words out of me and piano keys can’t help my major feelings. Sometimes the words are out of range and I can’t always access them like I can’t always access my whistle register. My emotions sometimes screech like an electric guitar, they are off-key like that one elder in the choir that always asks to sing lead, and they are often not in perfect harmony.

So what do I do when the song is paused, life is three beats ahead of me, and this damn piano keeps slipping into minor when my feelings are major? I let it be messy. I put my feelings to paper when life’s cadence is full of discord, when there’s no melody, and it’s just my thoughts. All over the place and they don’t know whether to come in on the downbeat or otherwise. They aren’t sure whether they are soprano or alto, they just know that they need to sing. This song is chaotic, there’s no repeating refrain, no background vocals. I’m not sure when it ends, but if I don’t start it’ll never finish. This type of song is a long lost friend and I hope it still cares for me.